Grief and Keeping it Going
By Celenise Mahmood
I have experienced a lot of loss throughout my life. From losing possessions to people, at a very early age I learned that it only takes a matter of seconds for everything to change.
Recently, I lost my uncle. This loss has affected me in such a different way than others.
My uncle was not the easiest to get along with. He reminded me of Professor Snape. Quite fitting, as he was a longtime teacher and assistant principal upon his retirement. I dreaded asking him for homework help due to his stern demeanor, but it was no doubt to anyone that he was a genius.
I admired him from a distance. Always in awe of his career, his intelligence, and his breathtaking art. He would sketch for hours—getting lost in every stroke of his pencil. I wish I had told him how brilliant I thought he was.
He lived in Puerto Rico. I hadn’t seen him since he moved back in 2017, shortly after his mother—my grandmother—passed away. He built a beautiful home there, his lifelong dream. I wish I had visited. I could give you a hundred excuses for why I didn’t make the trip, but they all fall short.
Still, I take comfort in knowing we celebrated joyful moments together—and I will cherish them always.
Grief is Complex
It doesn’t follow a calendar. It’s messy, layered, and it tends to show up when you least expect it. Sometimes it comes as a wave so big you can’t breathe. Other times, it lingers quietly in the background, a dull ache that colors your day.
Grief doesn’t ask if you're ready. It just arrives.
What I’ve learned—especially now—is that grief doesn’t mean life stops. But it does mean you need to move differently. It means honoring what you feel without getting lost in it.
Tips for Grieving and Still Moving Forward
1. Feel it—don’t fight it.
There’s no shortcut through grief. It demands to be felt. Cry if you need to. Journal. Sit in silence. Be angry. Be still. Be messy. Don’t rush your process to make others comfortable. Grief isn’t linear—it’s a spiral. You might think you’ve moved on, only to find yourself back in it unexpectedly. That’s okay. You’re human.
“Grief isn’t linear—it’s a spiral.”
2. Protect your energy.
Some days, you’re not going to be your best self. You might feel off, irritable, spaced out, or withdrawn. That’s your sign to pause. Don’t push yourself to attend every event, answer every message, or perform happiness. Give yourself the gift of solitude, grounding rituals, and deep rest. Energy is sacred—grief consumes a lot of it.
“If you’re feeling funky, take the time to get your energy right.”
Rest and regroup rather than snapping at others or spreading negative energy. Protect your peace.
3. Don’t isolate yourself.
Grief makes you want to hide, but connection heals. Even if it’s just a check-in text or sitting in silence with someone who gets it. Let people love you through it. Let them show up. Even if the words aren’t perfect, let them try.
If no one in your immediate circle understands, look for community support groups—virtual or in person. You're not alone.
4. Honor your grief in action.
Create something. Light a candle. Cook their favorite dish. Visit their favorite place. Frame a photo. Plant a tree. Speak their name.
“There’s healing in honoring the person or thing you’ve lost through ritual and expression.”
Art, movement, storytelling—these are ways to channel pain into purpose.
5. Keep it going… but in your own way.
The world keeps spinning, but you get to decide your pace. Some days that means doing the bare minimum, and that’s enough. Other days, you might feel a fire to create, to show up, to live fully—and that’s also beautiful.
You don’t have to be the version of yourself you were before the loss. In fact, you probably won’t be. But the new version of you? She’s worthy, too. She’s growing stronger roots.
Final Thoughts
I’ll never stop missing the people I’ve lost. But I’m learning how to carry them with me—not as a burden, but as a source of strength. My uncle’s legacy—his brilliance, his art, his love for his island—it lives on in me.
If you're grieving too, know this:
“You’re allowed to fall apart. You’re also allowed to keep going.”
Healing isn't about choosing one or the other. It's about holding both with grace.
Keep going, but be gentle with yourself. The path may feel heavy now, but you’re not walking it alone.
From the Author
Hi, I’m Celenise Mahmood—your wellness bestie. I'm a certified reiki healer, healthcare leader, mom of a Sickle Cell Warrior, and founder of Moodwell, a wellness brand built around real-life healing. I write, create, and share because I know grief, burnout, and emotional overload firsthand. And I also know: we can keep going—gently, intentionally, and supported.
Looking for healing support? Explore my signature adaptogen teas or reach out for a virtual reiki session.